Quick Weight Loss Guaranteed
Feb, 27, 2013
Have you had the flu yet? Believe me, you’d know. For starters, you wouldn’t be strong enough to have typed in my website on your computer. You’d be wrapped in a mound of blankets with a tiny hole at the top serving as a bad breath volcano top erupting weak gasp of air. You’d be shaking and shivering as you feel each individual air molecule bounce off your sensitive skin. You wouldn’t be able to remember what it’s like to breath through your nose. And finally, you’d be freezing cold while at the same time worrying about a fire breaking out on your forehead.
This year’s flu virus is amazing. Its so powerful that you’re probably catching it just by reading this blog I wrote while I have it. The first thing that happens when you get it is you lose your voice. This’ll be followed by loud shouts of “Woo Hoo!” from your spouse and/or children.
You are now on a week long journey of not being able to talk above a whisper. Your kids will take advantage. For example. I just crawled into my living room where my kids were playing catch. Two things were wrong with this.
One: They were using a cat.
Two: We dont have a cat.
So, I shouted in a hoarse whisper, “put that down.”
My oldest, who finds himself hilarious, instantly said, “What? Act like a clown? Bum Bum Bumpa Bumpa Bum Bum Bum…” And then he started juggling two pillows and the strange cat.
Normally I wouldn’t have put up with that. But that’s another symptom from this year’s flu virus. It makes you so tired that you don’t have the energy to finish any task. You’ll start something but before long you just
Also, you will notice that gravity is showing up in great force. You will start to realize how much your clothes weigh. A thick hoodie could keep you pinned to the ground for hours…which you wont mind because you wont feel like doing anything!
That’s me right now. I just want to watch 18 hours of “The Price is Right.” (Its a federal law that you have to watch that while you’re sick.) I just want to give up on life for awhile. But my wife reminded me I hadn’t posted a blog in awhile. So, I promised to write something as soon as I got the fire on my forehead put out.